How success can feel so close but so infinitely far away

About kicking the dog until it bites

The developer of core-js has spent a lot of time and made great sacrifices to build some of the most foundational software on the internet. But people don’t appreciate the work he’s put in while 70-80% of the top websites use his library. How did this happen? What did he do wrong? Did he do anything wrong?

He’s sacrificed a great deal for the public good and people who are financially far better off have turned on him.

At every step, he showed greater and greater commitment. He remained hopeful. He didn’t give up. But he ultimately ended up in a situation where people were pissed at him, and unappreciative of his years of work.

Kick the dog until it bites. He’s the dog in this situation. And now that he’s a little angry, or pissed, people take this as evidence that he’s a bad and spiteful person. This is awful. He’s being bullied, right? He’s one person. He has little ability to fight back. He’s stuck behind an authoritarian regime. The people attacking him are far wealthier and many of them work for some of the most successful companies in history.

But it’s actually a little more complicated. He has leverage here. Even though he doesn’t have money, he has power. If he wanted to, he has the power to give a lot of important people a bad day all at once.

And one of his biggest problems comes down to vibes. And no, putting on a smile wouldn’t do anything. It’s much deeper. It’s not that he’s asking for money. It’s not anything about his skill. No. He has “toxic” vibes. When he asks for help, people get the impression that he’s making a threat. When he works overtime to close bugs and issues ASAP, people see issues being closed and assume the project isn’t hurting and isn’t needing funding. But the reality is that the poor developer was absorbing the entire cost onto himself. Instead of quitting, he moved to Russia where living costs were low so that he could continue to work on the project.

And I think this exemplifies something about the current American vs. the slavic spirit. Russia is a big a proud country. But sometimes it’s worth admitting that you really don’t know what you’re doing, that you’ve dug yourself into a big hole:

I’m really sorry but I’m in way over my head. I thought I could build this thing on my own. I can’t. I love working on this project. It gives my life meaning and purpose.

I foolishly took drastic measures to lower my expenses so I could keep working. I pushed myself too far, and stretched myself too thin. And the saddest thing is it wouldn’t have gotten to this point if I gave up earlier. I held out hope. I kept thinking more funding would come. It never came, and now I’m in a desperate situation and now and I desperately need your help.

I wish I could keep this project going without you. I don’t mean to make this abrupt plea from you. I don’t have any reason to expect more funding. I don’t know how it’ll even get to Russia with all the sanctions in place.

I’m honestly stuck. I should be responsible and get a full-time job to support my family. That would be the smart and sensible thing to to. But I don’t want to abandon all the people who relied on my work for so long. Many people assume core-js is a small library that doesn’t require much effort. They saw issues getting closed quickly and didn’t realize how much effort happened behind-the-scenes to make it happen.

I want to make one last plea for funding. I’m grateful for all the funding I’ve gotten till this point. But I really need your support right now.

And to be totally honest, the reason I can write this is because I’m quickly running out of money too. It wouldn’t have come so easily otherwise. Reading his long post on GitHub made me realize what kind of ideas I was holding onto in my own head. I keep thinking that if only I was more consistent, or checked off a few more boxes, then something would turn around for me. But it’s not about checking boxes. He checked all of them.

A few months ago, I got a job offer at a dream company and I managed to negotiate my way out of it. I still don’t know what to think. I thought I was showing more commitment, but somehow things seemed to turn against me. I had trouble signing the contract. I tried to talk about it. I don’t know if I should have signed it.

I have to admit I have a bit of an ego. I feel the poor guy’s pain. It sucks to put in so much effort and have so little of it rewarded. You feel guarded at all times. You think that if you show a shred of weakness, that people will turn against you. And you want to remain confident. It’s isolating and lonely. It’s an awful way to live.

In any case, you can fund the creator of core-js through the link.

https://github.com/zloirock/core-js#conclusion

He’s a little bitter. And I think he definitely deserves some appreciation. And if you do give money, I think it’s worth sending him a message of encouragement.