A case for giving trust more freely, and for more emphatically keeping things trustworthy
Without trust, everything starts to unwind until you’re alone in your underwear in a shed with a shotgun. You still trust physics, right? Even still, you fire a warning shot, and then another. You’re paranoid that someone will hurt you. The neighbors hear the gunshots. They freak out. Why is everyone against you? You’re only trying to protect yourself. You haven’t hurt anyone.
I met my neighbor and her dog yesterday. The dog has scars on its face from years of having a nuzzle. She got the dog from a shelter. She was told that it may take some time for the dog to trust people again. But that’s not what happened. The dog immediately felt at home.
When someone trusts me, it’s like rocket fuel and possibilities open up. I’ve recently been riding this wave. Trust seems to have compounding rewards. The more I trust, the more others trust me.
The distrust cycle is like rocket fuel in reverse. I’ve been watching interviews with people from the soft white underbelly of our society. They have a hard time trusting. Lots of them were abused as children and many of them are on drugs. They have little reason to trust. When they distrust, people distrust them back. Eventually, they’re pinned against a wall and do something they regret. They have so little, and yet more is continually taken from them.
The more I look, the harder it is to escape how trust rules everything around me.
You’re 5 minutes late. Sure, it’s not a big problem. Maybe you break your routine. This isn’t exactly a promise broken, but it’s something. Even if you decide to better yourself, this act can be interpreted as a reason to distrust you.
The shitty thing about trust is when someone has an advantage over you, they can then abuse that trust. You’re at their mercy. And worse, maybe you’re naive and stupid.
It took me years to start trusting again after my breakup with my ex. To be honest, it’s partially my fault. It probably started when I talked to her about building trust. I dunno if that was the right approach. I wonder what would have happened if I started with trust.